Current lock screen wallpaper

who are you,

really?

you are not a name

or a height, or a weight

or a gender

you are not an age

and you are not where you

are from

you are your favorite books

and the songs stuck in your head

you are your thoughts

and what you eat for breakfast

on saturday mornings

you are a thousand things

but everyone chooses

to see the million things you are not

you are not

where you are from

you are

where you're going

and i'd like

to go there

too

m.k

"I felt dreadfully inadequate. The trouble was, I had been inadequate all along, I simply hadn’t thought about it." - Sylvia Plath

Thank you for hammering the point, **.

And then the day came,
when the risk
to remain tight
in a bud
was more painful
than the risk
it took
to Blossom. 

— Anaïs Nin, “Risk”

I'll make time fixing my blog and actually use it for its supposed function.

(un)random

It's been a while. I remember those times when I used to think about what things to write in my posts. I just want to cry. I cannot talk to anyone about what's bothering me at the moment. I’ve been shutting myself out for the last couple of months since I don’t want people to think I’m giving myself too much of a hard time. Well, in reality, I simply want them to go on with their lives and not mind me at all. I’m afraid that if I tell them how I’ve been feeling, they’ll worry about me and that’s the last thing I want to happen. Just (un)random thoughts.

Parating ka na. Kaytagal din kitang hinintay na dumating mula sa matagal mong pagkawala. Oo, aaminin ko, noong una, hindi kita inaalala. Mas pinili ko ang kagandahan ng pagwalalang-bahala sa mga araw na namagitan sa ating dalawa.

Sa susunod na linggo, nakaambang na ang iyong pagdating. Hindi ko lubos maisip na kay bilis ng mga minutong nagdaan. Sa mga minutong hindi ka bahagi ng aking bawat paghinga, hindi ko magawang hindi magsaya. Masakit isiping nasasaktan kita sa mga salitang binibitawan ko ngayon, nguni't ito ang totoo.

Sa iyong pagdating, muli na naman akong hindi ako makakatulog ng mahimbing. Kailangan kong magising ng maaga dahil tiyak na hindi ko mapipigilan ang aking sarili na hindi ka ilagay sa aking isipan. Alam ko na sa mga susunod na buwan na magkakasama tayo, walang magiging puwang sa bawat minuto na ating pupunan.

Pasasayahin mo ako. Lalagyan mo na lungkot ang aking mukha. Pasasabikin mo ako. Lubusan mo akong papagurin. Papatayin mo ako sa parehong tuwa at pagod. Hindi mo hahayaang mablanko ang mga segundong ating haharapin.

Kahit na hindi ko ibig ang iyong pagdating, masaya na rin akong nariyan ka na papalapit sa akin. Para naman matapos na kaagad ang paghihirap ko.

Sana sa panahong ito, mapakita ko sayo na kakayanin ko. Noong una, wala ako halos nagawa para sayo. Hinayaan kong lunurin ako ng aking katamaran at kawalan ng inspirasyon. Inisip ko lang na mamahalin mo rin naman ako kahit na alam mong ganito ako sa'yo. Nguni't nagkamali ako. Hindi mo nakayanang hayaan lang ako. Gusto mong turuan ako ng leksyon. Ginawa mo ang mga bagay na posibleng makapagmulat sa tamad at walang laman kong isipan. Salamat sa'yo dahil itinutulak mo akong gawin ang mga bagay-bagay sa higit na aking makakaya.

Pero, patawarin mo ako na kahit may galak akong nadarama sa iyong pagdating, hindi pa rin kita mabigyan ng puwang sa aking puso't isipan...








Mahal kong SECOND SEM, please lang. Wag ka munang dumating.

As Random As It Gets

What is your most favorite smell?: Fresh-from-factory odor of a shirt.
Do you have an itch that you just can't scratch?: None.
Has someone checked you out in a grocery store before?: No one.
Do you like potato salad?: Yeah!
List three of your fears:: Bugs, F, confusion.
Have you ever been inlove/are inlove?: Nope.
Who do you like more Dr. Phil or Oprah?: Oprah.
Have you ever cried so hard that you threw up?: Nope.
Who was the last person to make you smile?: The author of the fanfiction I read a couple of hours ago.
What is the best kind of pizza in your opinion?: New York's Finest.
Does the store brand soda taste the same as the real stuff?: Sure.
Do you believe if you can't speak our language get out of our country?: Whadduh?
Do you have any bug bites on you currently?: None.
Have you ever felt stupid after saying something?: A couple of times, yes.
Has anyone ever belittled you?: I think so.
What color is your underwear?: Orange. LOL.
Do you believe people who live in trailer parks are trash?: Nope.
Where you spoiled as a kid?: Nope.
Look to your right, what is the first thing that catches your eye?: The wall clock.
When buying clothing, do you have to try it on before you buy it?: Yeah, better make my butt sure.
Has a teacher ever made you feel stupid?: Yeah? I don't know, really.
Is there something that someone has done to you that you cannot forgive?: As far as my memory allows me remember, none whatosever.
Who was the last person you hung out with?: My mom.
What is the most annoying sound in the world?: Bubblegum pop.
Do you have freckles?: None.
When was the last time you felt inadequate?: Whenever I find out I would've done better in this or that.
What do your hear right now?: The rotating blade of the electric fan, the ticking keys of the keyboard as I type.
Is it day or night?: Night.
What color is your tongue?: Err, pink? LOL.
Do you find body hair sexy?: Honestly, no.
Has an animal ever peed on you?: Nope.
When was the last time you rode a bike?: Hm, a couple of years ago. Loser me.
What's on your mind right now?: Finishing this survey.
Is there someone you'd give your life for?: Yeah.
What was your last fight about?: Don't know.
What was the last thing you ate?: Peanut butter sandwich.
Do you put on deodorant on every day?: Yes.
Do you spend most of your money or save it?: I spend it.
When was the last time you yelled/felt like yelling at someone?: Yesterday?
Do you think Family Guy is stupid?: Nope! I love Family Guy!
What do you like more jeans or sweatpants?: Jeans all the way.
What did your last txt message say?: "You'll know if the person really cares when he asks what's wrong and when you tell him nothing, he stays there waiting for the real reason."
Is there anyone who wont leave you alone right now that you wish would?: No one.
Do you scream at scary parts in a horror flick?: Not really.
Do you find romance movies to be cute or stupid?: They're adorably stupid.
What was the last compliment you received?: Hm,
What do you spend most of your time doing?: Being a bum. ;))
Have you ever found yourself somewhere and not remembering how you got ther: Hm, I think so.
Do you find it sexy when a girl/guy sweats?: Nope.
Have you ever taken a shower/thought of taking a shower with someone else?: Do I have to answer this? What the hell, I don't have to ask.
Who was the last person in your bed other then yourself?: My brother.
Is there someone you are thinking about right now?: Yeah.
Do you like Bert's Bee's chapstick?: I've no idea.
Do you really care what's going on in celebrities lives?: Yeah, it's a guilty pleasure, knowing what's happening with them. :)
What was the last song you listened too?: The song which played on my friend's blog.
What time is it right now?: 7:51 PM.
Have you ever broke a plate/bowl?: Yeah.
Ever gotten in a physical fight with another person?: Nope.
Do you remember your dreams?: Not really.
Do you dress to impress?: Sometimes, yes.
Have you ever felt like life was unfair to you?: Yeah.
Do you fight with people often?: Nope.
When was the last time you felt like you didn't have a care in the world?: When I last ate a hearty meal. lol.
Do you have shoes or socks on right now?: None.
Ever gone camping?: Not yet.
What is your favorite holiday?: Christmas! :)
What is one thing that annoyed you today?: The title of my blog posts have not yet appeared since God knows when.
Has anyone ever drunk called/txted you?: No one.
Are you always there for your friends?: I guess so.
What color do you wear the most?: Do you really have to ask? Oh yeah, the survey says 'as random as it gets'.
How many blankets are on your bed?: Two.
Does your house have air conditioning?: None.
What was the last family get together you went to?: Grocery shopping two weeks ago. ;)
What is your favorite restaurant?: There are lots in my head right now but I'll choose the kitchen at home. Nothing beats food cooked at its finest, food cooked by my mom. ;)
Ever stubbed your toe?: Yeah, clumsy me.

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Apparently, I'm boring when it comes to answering surveys, no matter how random they are.







Who cares, anyway?

Pag-inog

Tapos na ang una kong semestre bilang estudyante sa kolehiyo.

Masaya, malungkot
Nguni't tuloy pa rin ang aking mundo sa pag-ikot.

Walang maisipang gawin
Patuloy sa kawalang-saysay ang aking aatupagin
Sa isang buwang aking haharapin
Magbabasa ng libro, gagawa ng kung anu-ano
Oo, mahirap na walang ginagawa,
Pero, masaya rin ang walang inaalala.

Masaya, malungkot
'Yan ang kwento ng aking mundong patuloy sa pag-ikot.



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Dala lang ito ng kawalan ng makakain sa kalagitnaan ng gabi.